A hero bites the dust...

Benazir Bhutto.
Born on 21 June 1953.
Assassinated on 27 December 2007.
This woman is my hero. A testimony to everything I admire in people; strong, capable, opinionated, determined. With her death, Pakistan's strongest hope for democracy has been extinguished. A part of the country-namely, everything free and bright and beautiful-has died with this dynamic, passionate woman. And now, every citizen is, once again, condemned to be a puppet in the hands of an insidious, ruthless dictator in an ominous brown uniform-who claims he's not a 'dictator' (whom is he trying to kid?)
A couple of months ago, I read an interview of Benazir's in a Good Housekeeping magazine. Her words, vision and goals impressed me tremendously. As the first elected female leader of any Muslim state, she did not let the horror of her wrongly accused father's (Zulfikar Ali Bhutto) death deter her from her chosen path. Even the mysterious 'deaths' of her two beloved brothers, and the tremendous health problems of her husband (due to his long and torturous imprisonment) only motivated her further. Twice, she was elected as Prime Minister; and twice, she was removed from office on grounds of alleged corruption (just because she was female). Ignoring daily death threats from extremist Muslim groups, she emerged from her self imposed exile as a beacon of hope for liberal, freedom loving Pakistanis.
Now, she's dead. The flame, the torch she bore for so long, has been snuffed out. And these are the reactions of my dear peers.
"What? Who was that? Damn, could you spell her name? It was a female, right?"
"Man, her hair rocks! Who is she?"
"Who even cares? Just hurry up and tell me whcih dress you're wearing for new year's!"
Yeah. It's so comforting to know that Bhutto's life has not been in vain.
SHEESH.

Why...

I sit here and look out
At the yellow straggling grass
Once upon a time,
It was green and came up to my knees.
Once,
We were young
Happy, childish, immature
So much has changed.
Do you remember the laughter?
It is a heavy thing,
This sadness of drifting apart.

I can't put my finger
On the moment you stopped
being my best friend.
I still remember US
The sisterhood
The unbreakable, unshakeable trust
The battles you fought for me
The tears you cried for me
How did that change?
Why did you go?
Perhaps it doesn't matter to you,
Not anymore...

Life has taught me little yet
The bigger lessons will come later.
But one thing I know,
friendship is a great gift,
I let you slip through my life,
And not a day goes by, that I don't regret it....

Growing up.....

When I was in about the seventh grade, I would often awaken at night with searing pains in my shoulders and legs. "Growing pains," my grandmother would murmur as she rubbed my aching limbs with warm castor oil, an opinion that was echoed by my doctor whenever I complained. That year, I moved from the middle of the class assembly line right to the back, and my newfound 'tallness' both bewildered and gladdened me.I used to slouch around,unsure what to do with my new inches, until I turned to basketball and decided I looked better when I walked tall. But I digress....
Now, as I stand at the threshold of a new life, ready to take on the unknown, with just one REAL day of school left, I'm scared. And hurting; just growing pains, but now its my heart that hurts. I've been waiting to be 'grown up' all my life, to leave home, live independently, take charge. All my catfights with my mother, ever since I entered my teens(and trust me, there have been a LOT of them) have always included this one exchange:
Me-I can't wait to get the hell outta this place! When I'm 18....
Mom-Who's stopping you now? Good Lord, I can't wait....
And now, instead of years, there are mere months remaining...Instead of euphoria, all I feel is insecurity. Who will hold me when I'm in the clutches of one of my vivid nightmares? Who will wake me up and feed me dinner when I'm bone tired? And also, without my sister, who will nag me and make sure I study when I have to? How will it be to walk into an educational institution and have to prove myself before I'm as well-loved there as I am here?
No answers, no way to know. I don't wanna leave my friends, my family, my doggie. They are the only life I know. But I will, someday...and that day is drawing ever closer.
I'm growing up now, I know. I'm looking past the gossip and bitchslapping to sieve out my true friends, the ones I know I'll keep...I avoid tantrums(so do my parents), I walk my dog as long as I can. Sometimes, before falling asleep, I think about how weird it will be to leave it all; my sis snoring beside me, the glowing butterflies on the ceiling, my warm quilt and teddy bear that I've had, like, forever. That's when my heart starts to hurt. But maybe this time, I'll grow so much that I'll be really glad about this change, too. Maybe it's a good thing after all.