ok,so wat am i doin wid a post titled 'listlessness' wen my life is as busy as it kn get?college apps, exams next month and two SATs(to think I finished 2 jus last saturday!).....a fest which got over 2 days ago...BMUN cumin up.....whew!
bt now,daunted by so much pressure,iv jus thrown up my hands(which iv NEVER done before).in order to prevent myself from totally losing my mind, im jus refusing to give a fuck.i dunno how long this phase will last, before i revert bak to ma 'dramaqueeny perfectionist' mood,bt frankly,i hope its not too long. I miss being productive and in control. i miss feelin energetic and excited. dis whole 'whatever will be, will be' attitude is scaring even me.my parents are trying to be supportive, takin me for evening walks, even laughin at ma stupid jokes
original:"if ur not part o da solution, ur part o da problem"
PJ version:"if ur not part o da solution,ur part o da precipitate"
im sry,bt tht really cracks me up.
as does 'dnt drink and derive'.
i know,im lost in da land o hopeless dweebism, mechanically gna tuitions and doin all da blah, bt i miss the enthusiasm and drive tht brought out my best.i dont know where its gone....and why its left a crippling listlessness in its place.if sum1 knows where its gone,could u pls temme?;p
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4 comments:
Hmm... Your life does sound very busy. A big contrast to both me and amogh; we were just having this discussion the other morning as to how jobless the both of us are.
I've got a lot i can possibly do, but I don't end up doing most of it. I've consigned myself to "whatever will be will be" for around a few months now, not really put my heart and soul into many things that have come my way, except when it comes to helping people, and preparing for bio olympiad.
And that's a really funny joke, I like all such intellectual jokes, though "don't drink and derive" isn't great. As for enthusiasm, I'm either enthusiastic about doing something, or not doing it, for about half the things. The rest of it, sadly, is mechanical.
I have gone back to my first and only addiction, that of books. I'm currently re-reading books I have at home at quite a pace, because I don't feel like quite doing anything else with my time.
So, if you ever feel listless again, take inspiration from the fact that there are people feeling much more jobless, and then decide in your mind that you can't get as terrible as them, and then go forward. I will continue to chug along at my pace. Still waiting for something to knock me into activity.
Be happy!!
Nice, my reply's practically as long as your blog... Hehe
thanx sid!
'dnt drink and derive' sure cracked me up! So apt for us twelfthies! ;P
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